Many people don't understand what it feels like to lose such a huge part of your life, but those people usually aren't "animal" people. For those of us that have the unmistakable bond with a furry friend it is devastating to lose them.
Raj was the only constant part of my life for 15 years. We were homeless together, slept in abandoned cars, the park. She made everything okay in the world. She was my rock.
Every day that goes by makes me miss her more, not less, because it is yet another day that we aren't together.
I am a veterinary technician because of Raj. I wanted to provide the best possible care for her and was successful for 15 years but I couldn't save her. All of my schooling and knowledge......we tried everything to beat the cancer. She was such a brave, fearless fighter until the very end and I couldn't have asked for anything more. She was happy and playful until the last surgery, she had 6 surgeries total and chemo.
Not many people will read this blog post but to those that happen upon this and have lost a beloved pet-just know that you are not alone and my heart hurts for you. Only you will know what you are feeling, no other person can tell you when things will get better but when that day comes that you are able to talk about your lost loved one, know that I am there with you in understanding that feeling.
I miss my baby girl so very much and I am thankful that nobody is telling me to move on, or get over it, because I would probably go a bit PG-13 on them. Thank you for reading this and hugs to all the furry critters out there.
RIP-Raj 12/25/1998-9/30/2014.
as the tears flow I can only tell that missing Raj will never stop but you will start to just remember all the joy the two of you shared. I lost my baby girl, Spirit, my first beloved 4 legged dog. Everybody in my family called her the Princess. She was loved by everybody but she had a very mischevious side too. Keep talking about Raj. There are those of us who understand and share your pain. Spirit and Raj were both born in December 1998. I do hope they have made friends at the Rainbow Bridge.
ReplyDeleteJanine-Thank you for sharing about Spirit and it does a heart good to know that my girl will meet amazing dogs like Princess Spirit at the Rainbow Bridge. They both are greatly missed and treasured.
DeleteYour post is beautiful! We currently have two girls - The Divas and as they head towards old age their health is becoming a concern....no nights out for us or trips away as we save to pay the vet bills as well as look after them with every bit of love and attention that we can give - after all we have had 10 years of unconditional and total love from them..
ReplyDeleteWhen they were tiny scraps I had an attack upon me by a work frienemy that left me shattered. Suicide seemed like a good option but with these tiny little girls on my lap, at my feet, beside me wherever I listlessly wandered for weeks...I realised they needed me and I totally needed them.
So just like you we will do everything we can to make The Divas days the best they can possibly be.
I hope at some point another friend wiggles their way into your heart - that's the wonderful thing about our hearts they expand to fit in what we need to make our life feel complete.
A dear vet who has looked after my dogs and me over many years often said to me our companions teach us far more than we do them and I know this to be true.
Julie-it is a response like yours and Janine's that prompted me to write this and share. I am very thankful that you are here to see it and also to help your Divas.
ReplyDeleteI completely can relate to not having any nights out or going anywhere. And even while staying home with my girl Raj, and my two other babies, I didn't feel like I was missing anything I was right where I needed to be.
Your Divas are truly and blessing and are blessed to have you as a momma. Thank you for sharing their story and yours as well. I never thought Blogland would help to connect with so many wonderful people. Thank you and hugs. ~Niki
Niki - glad to see that you were able to come and read our responses. I can never stop talking about my Princess and I'm sure you will feel the same about your girl Raj. Anytime you want to talk about her, you know where to find me :-)
ReplyDeleteThank you Janine and I may take you up on that offer. From one animal lover to another I appreciate your words and thoughtfulness.
DeleteI'm so sorry for your loss, I totally get how you feel, it took me a long time to deal with the loss of our first family dog a few years ago. Fir over a year I would find myself waking up in the morning and looking down beside our bed to watch I dont step on her when I get up, they really are like family. 15 years is a good long run for a large breed dog, you obviously took very good care of her. Sending loads of hugs your way. xo
ReplyDeleteI do the same thing. Every night she would lay beside my bed and I would fall asleep with my hand on her head. I have found myself waking up with my hand handing over the edge of the bed waiting for her to be there. She was the love of my life and every day gets harder. Thank you for sharing your story about your first family dog. They are all greatly missed and cherished.
DeleteI'm so sorry for your loss, I totally get how you feel, it took me a long time to deal with the loss of our first family dog a few years ago. Fir over a year I would find myself waking up in the morning and looking down beside our bed to watch I dont step on her when I get up, they really are like family. 15 years is a good long run for a large breed dog, you obviously took very good care of her. Sending loads of hugs your way. xo
ReplyDeleteHello Niki, I'm so sorry to hear about your lovely dog, when you lose a pet it is certainly like losing a family member, my heart and prayers go out ot you , ((( HUGE HUGS )))..
ReplyDeleteIt is losing a family member, and it changes every thing about your life in ways you can't even imagine. I knew it would be hard but I didn't think about the little things. Like the way Raj would lick her nose after eating, or the curl of her tail......Thank you for the hugs and prayers.
DeleteNiki - isn't it amazing the things we notice that we miss. We miss everything about them but every day there will be one thing that comes to mind. Spirit, would always cross her legs when lying down. None of my other dogs ever did that. I'll see something that will remind me of that and I start crying all over again and it has been 2 years now. Let your grief guide you because it will get better. It is nobody's timetable but your own. Stay strong!
DeleteI came back over for a visit to look at your projects again and check out your earlier creations. I feel your pain hun, we had cats for about fifteen years or more and we still miss them much. I have a JR terrier right not who is about ten years old and I am dreading that time as I know it will crush me. Enough said huni - sending you a hug - it will get better I promise but it won't ever go - our furry critters become part of our families xx
ReplyDeleteThank you for looking at this post Karen. I bet your JR is a handful! They are full of energy and vigor, but what terrier isn't right? Every day finds me missing my girl more and more. The older cat I have ever worked with was 23.
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